Monday, August 17, 2009

I'm Just A Bitch Ass Bitch

I said it... My race this weekend didn't go so hot. My legs decided to pitch a fit like a little 5 year old asshole kid who didn't get his way in Wal-Mart because his mom wouldn't buy him a toy. My mind is off, I haven't had a real great race season, and for some reason when the race director says go, my body knows it and decides to do everything in it's power to go into fuck you mode.

I don't know what it is, my training has been good. I've been putting in solid consitant three hour rides multiple times per week, with absolutly no cramping issues. I haven't cramped since Syllamo. I thought my base was good coming into RIM. I knew that if I took the first three hours easy, I could manage the last three and work through the pain. That was until my sissy legs went limp and cramped up at hour two. Fucking ridiculous.

While my race sucked major monkey balls, I have nothing but great things to say about it. Doug and the crew at heartland along with the trail crew, put on one AWESOME race. Thank you all soo much! You did a fantastic job.

The comraderie was top notch, getting to shoot the shit with alot of old friends, and new ones. Getting to bullshit with like minded people always ranks tops in my books. I have to give a big shout out to Team Segal, as always their superior awesomness shined, and I throughly appreciated the free PBR. Thanks guys!

Cam and Travis threw it down, and took first in the 12 hour duo, smoking the trail with blazing speed. Travis even worked through some sickness to put down some stellar times. Kyle Shour ripped our class to shreds, proving his top level training in New Mexico has payed off. Him made me feel like a bitch by lapping me later in the race.

I only put in four laps, and decided the damage to my legs had been enough. I could have pushed on, but it wasn't look great. Third place would have been the best I could have done, and that was by a very long shot proving I would have had two stellar last laps. I didn't have it in me. The cramps were unworkable, and debilitating to say the least. I can usualy ride through them, not this time. I decided to save myself for the week leading up to my first road race this weekend and call it quits. I know, I'm a big vagina.

Another RIM, another DNF. At least I made it further into the race this go around. The climbing was epic, and I proved to be the grown man on his knees on the side of the trail crying like a little bitch. Alright, I didn't cry, but I wasn't far from it. I kept in good spirits even though my performance was a major let down. Gods granted me the power to deal with that which has already been done, and to find ways to change, improve, learn, and move on. Shit happens, and it happens regularly to me. I did everything right, only to have everything go wrong. But that's the way the cookie crumbles sometimes, and there's no use on dweling on the past.

I'm going through a major change in thoughts with this years racing. I need to change up my gameplan and start getting back to roots of just having fun. Fuck what others expect out of you, fuck what I expect out of me, I'm just out to enjoy the ride and give it all I can. If I do well, great, if not, I can still say I had fun and wasn't in it to win it. So for those of you who for some reason think I may be a threat to you if we happen to line up next to each other in the upcoming races, forget it. I'm not racing anymore, I'm having fun. Seems I do best that way.

So no expectations, just more learning and riding. I already have my mind on next year. My base will be massively changed this winter, and I know where I screwed up this year and what I have to do to fix it next year. There's still plenty of racing left, and there still might be hope, but I'm not going in to any race with any thoughts of doing well. We'll just see what happens...

Friday, August 14, 2009


Kiss your maidens goodbye, grab your bike, money, and chamois cream and get ready for the most epic battle of the YEAR! Many souls will be crushed tommorow, and I fully expect to watch grown men crumble to their knees in tears on the brutal hills of Crowder. If you have any balls at all, you'll show your face tommorow and flex your muscles in hopes to be crowned king of them all. Or in my case, just finish respectably without experiencing flashes of your life as death looms just around the next corner.

Work is non existant at this point, just managing to tick the time away until I can jet set the fuck outta hear, pack up and head north for the campsite and race venue. The soundtrack of my mind is constantly replaying the most badass song of all time, DIO Holly Diver. If you want to feel badass, you'll press play on the provided youtube video below. If you don't think your man enough to rock out in your cubicle like it's December 31st, 1999 ready to strike mid-night, then I say your not a man at all. ROCK OUT BITCHES RIM IS UPON US!

Monday, August 10, 2009

Get Ready, Pain Awaits

This weeks blogs brought to you by Ben Harper, Live From Mars, CD 1. This two disc compilation of his great hits live is one to put on the must have. Disc 1 suits me best, with some of his best live work such as Sexual Healing and Burn One Down. You can tell that his music is tailored to those with a easy going lifestyle with an emphasis on free spirit, pot smoking hippies. Not that I fit in that boat, but you can say I'm pretty easy going. It's funny to hear the audience truely speak up and start singing the loudest on Burn One Down, supporting the pot smoking hippies part.

This weekend was relaxed, with Friday night being my last big throw down party night before the next block or racing and mayhem. Partying for me now days consist of grilling out, drinking a six pack, and partaking in some other illegal activities that I won't go into detail about. Let's just say my younger days of smoking large amounts "smokables" has past, but from time to time I do enjoy the experience of a higher enlightenment. Racing has all but caused me to quit, but you got to have a little fun once in awhile.

Satuday I took my newest steed, a K2 carbon road bike, out for a spin to eleviate the past nights activities. The wind was decieving, causing a easier percieved effort out on the 15 mile leg, followed by a much harder than expected 15 miles back. The wind was going wild, up in the 20's, which made for a miserable cross head wind coming back. I thought I did a good job of working out the demons, but Sunday would prove they still lingered in my system.

I joined Travis Donn, and Cameron Chambers, along with a few other guys from some RIM recon work up at Crowder. I've never been blessed with railing these trails, so I figured what better company, and what better of a day to do so. Cam and Travis did a pretty good job of working me over during the first hour and a half of riding with them. I was having major issues with chain skip that caused me to ram jam my right knee into the shifter early on, resulting in an almost instantanious inflamed knee cap and some pretty serious pain. Being one not to bitch and moan TOO much, I manned up and held on as best as I could.

The hills killed me, guess the demons of Friday's past had to tamper with me a little more before being completly exorcised. My body shut down resulting in me walking some parts like a little bitch. The flats, downhills, and techinical aspects were alright. About the hour and half mark, Cam and Travis headed home, they had already been out for three hours. I took off to finish up and put in another hour. All in all I'm stoked about this weekends race. It's going to be one of the most challenging 6 hour races to date, and it's bound to be a blast. The highlights of the day were swimming in the lake, railing some serious downhills, and getting to enjoy a new trail system that will be a new venue for my future training.

For those who have been living in a cave for the last year, this Saturday marks the annual adventure known as RIM. You can find all the dirt here... It's a 6 hour race, it's a 12 hour race, whatever poison suites you. Get ready for some serious race action, and be prepared! This is not a sissy man's race course, and it's bound to be everything Landahl was plus some. Take away the large rock gardens like Root Canal and Mikies Tantrum, but throw in some serious hills and plenty of rocks and you've got yourself Crowder.

Remember, turn at the giant white cross to enter Crowder on Saturday, and don't forget to take moment to say a pray at said cross. You'll need God on you side this race, becuase it's Rapture in Misery bitches!