Sometimes I catch myself in a deep thought of who and what I am. It's always this awkward, almost out of body experience that always seems to throw me off. It happened today in the car driving to work. I'm not sure if this has ever happened to you or not, but I can only assume I'm not the only crazy one out there.
I mean when you really sit down and think about you as a person, as a human being, as a creature that habitates on this Earth, it's a bit weird. I sometimes look into the mirror and wonder about this person I'm staring back at. How did I get here, who am I as a person, and where the hell am I going.
My name is Garet Lee Steinmetz, I know this much. But sometimes I seem foreign even to myself. It's a tough feeling to explain but it's pops its head through my conscious cloud from time to time.
So I: rode my cross bike the other night. It got me thinking about who I am as a rider and what I truely enjoy.
I'm sorry, but cyclecross is not one one of these things.
As much as I try to find enjoyment in it, and as much as I love pain, I somehow can't get into it. Every year is different in the ways of my excuses. This year it boils down to a few different factors. First is I now work weekends. Both days. Bummer, but it is what it is. For now. Secondly, I only have so many vacation days. My mountain bike racing has done a pretty good number to those slim days, so therefore I'm left with just a few left and honestly I can think of a lot better things to do with them than going racing on grass.
I am a mountain biker.
The friends, the adrenaline, the never ending array of different trails, flow, landscape, and personality. The technical aspect that trumps pure physical power with the need of finesse and actual skill. The ability to flick a machine between your legs like a cigarette into the wind as you whip through corners at what feels like breakneck speed.
You can skirt some of these feelings on a cross bike, but you can never fully achieve them.
So I will do what I do every fall and winter. I will ride, alot. With friends, by myself, here, there, wherever the dirt is good. I'll gravitate away from road to find gravel when the trails are wet, but when they are dry and I have the time that's where you'll find me.
Because this is who I am.