Missouri Sucks Monkey Balls

Let me first say that I didn't choose to be raised here. I was forced to. I often think what it would have been like to be a child raised in a small mountain town out in Colorado, or where the trout fishing is sweeter than lollipops in the small town of Missoula, Montana. But alas, I was raised in the Po-Dunk, weather couldn't be crazier, boring as hell Missouri. Some days it doesnt seem to be so bad, yesterday, it did. I will go on record and say that I still live here because of choices that "I" made, and I coulda had my chance to get out when I could. What the hell was I thinking...

I drove from work in Sedalia yesterday, to Shawns house to go out and ride SMP and then back to his crib for the infamous backyard trials course. I had the option of going to Columbia, which in the long run woulda provided more dry trails, but when you have a pimp ass trials course like Shawn's, you make exceptions. So I arrived an hour and a half later, did a few bike tweaks, got a few bad ass new parts from Shawn, and headed down the road to meet a group for the Humper ride. There were 11 of us, and we set off. I rode behind OlathaJoe for minute before splitting off on my own due to the increase wind and likelyhood of rain. Who woulda fucking guessed? A surprise strom moving SOUTH right towards us.

A few short minutes later, and I was greated with the most thunderous lightning strikes hitting what seemed like in the woods only a hundred yards away from me and the bike. These were the kind of lightning strikes that make your hair stand up, and put a hellava pep in your step in accordance to getting the fuck out as soon as possible. I haven't had a lightning experience like that since I was a wee boy trying to catch that one last fish before the incoming storm out at the farm pond. I never caught that last fish, but I was greated with a shake in your boots lighting strike that demolished a giant oak just a hundred yards away. I never would have thought such a girlish scream could pertrude from a boy who thought he was so tough. That was some scary shit yo.

One thing I did learn last night, and that's if you make your bike go fast, it will. I've never split through rock gardens on my rigid SS so fast in my life. It was dusk dark in the woods and you could barely see the rocks, but I had one agenda, and that was getting out alive. I put the pedal down and maxed out the cadence blowing through rock gardens and slicing corners like I was minutes away from being the SS World Champ. It felt PRO... Adrenaline will do that I'm told. Now if I could just transfer that to a race.

So I reached the pravilion, hell broke loose, and the rains flooded the earth that I was just moments ago scorching with my fat tires. Shawn was a team player as always and came to the rescue, which was good because we could barely see to drive the mile and a half back to his place, much less ride in the shit. I like to look at the bright side to every dark moment, and I figured it was God's way of keeping me from hitting the Trials course that night. Who knows, a hospital trip could have been in the planning had it not been for that rain. I still got to down on a few PBR's and shot the shit with Shawn, so a wasted trip it was not.

On a light note, I won the Warsaw race on Sunday, this time with a little more stiff competiton. Rich from Columbia, originally from Wisconsin, was there to ensue pain upon the expert field. I rode behind him for the first lap of 4, took the lead in lap two, lead till the flat in lap four, in which Rich passed me, but flatted a mile or so later, and I took it home for the win. Ebby Norman took second with Rich in tow for third. The next Down and Dirty Race is July 12th, so make it out if you can.

I took the SS out in preperation for the much anticipated SS shindig this weekend at Binder lake in Jeff City. Should be a kick ass time, the "race" starts at noon, the entry fee is the price of your favorite six pack of brew, and afterwards the BBQ gets fired, and the beer gets drunk. The action should be packed, and the pace should be feirce, I plan on spinning circles like a mad man to get some more intensity training in before the next big race, Sac River. If you ride a SS, there's not a better course, so come get some!